FEEDING THE DIGITAL DEMON

The voice on the line said it was sooo easy to download a book to a digital distributor.  All I had to do was follow the Smashwords formatting directions and it would be a breeze.  What the voice didn’t say was that the directions looked like a five page physics test. Not one to turn down a challenge, I immediately called a formatting expert and hired her to do the job. If I’ve learned anything in 20 years in the book business, it is that easy and computer are oxymoron’s when used in the same sentence.  I sent my novels to a formatting expert in a Word document and when she finished the formatting they were downloaded with ease.    

But not so fast! The next digital distributor, the one named after a South American river, didn’t want the novels downloaded in a Word document, they wanted them in an HTML file. I’m sure that’s because any hint of uniformity in the digital world would not allow us to steam in frustration at our computers.  However, without too much trouble, the novels were converted to an HTML file and are now bobbing in the digital river.

The next stop was Google EBooks, and you guessed it. They didn’t want the novels downloaded in Word or HTML; they wanted them in a PDF file. What fun! And for good measure, just to wipe the smirk off my face, they didn’t want the books downloaded with their titles, they wanted them downloaded with their ISBN numbers. And just for me, mister computer klutz, they wanted a signed statement confirming that I am the owner of my own ISBN numbers. Do they think we make this stuff up, or is it just a lot of fun watching us jump through their digital hoops?   

The next call was to Lightning Source, the print on demand distributor. This would be easy because I had my electronic files and my electronic cover. I was way ahead of the digital game.  But just in case, I called ahead to talk to a representative, who immediately deflated me with the one question that filled me with dread. “How good are your computer skills? We have our own specifications that you have to meet before downloading into our system.”  Gee… what a surprise! I asked if they had someone who could do this for me, but alas they did not.  I spent the rest of that afternoon trying to figure out if I wanted to proceed or slit my wrists.      

My suggestion for the digital book world would be to come up with one, easy, universal downloading system for ebooks and for print on demand. The current system seems bizarre for an industry that was innovative enough to create the Kindle and the Nook. And in so doing, the mind they save just might be  my own.